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Why does your partner's emotional distance sometimes make you so angry? Perhaps you feel frustrated when they don't respond, hurt when they seem uninterested in talking, or upset when they need space just when you need closeness the most. You might find yourself criticizing, bringing up past arguments, asking the same questions, or pushing for a conversation that never seems to happen. And the more your partner pulls away, the more desperate you feel to get through to them. But have you ever wondered what's happening underneath your anger? Sometimes, what looks like anger is actually hurt…

When people come to counselling because of anger, they often describe it as something that simply takes over. One moment they are fine, and the next they have said or done something they wish they could take back. What tends to get lost in those moments is a simple question: what was the anger trying to accomplish? Anger rarely shows up at random. It is a protective emotion, and it usually arrives with a job to do. Looking at that job, rather than only at the outburst, can change the way we understand our own reactions. In my experience, three purposes come up again and again. Evening the…

Have you ever felt a prickle of irritation when your therapist asks, “How does that make you feel? Where do you feel that in your body?” If so, you’re not alone. Many people feel frustrated when therapy seems to focus on emotion instead of quickly “fixing the problem.” But from a somatic therapy perspective, emotions are not a distraction: they’re often the most direct pathway to healing, clarity, and lasting change. Although focusing on emotion may feel like a detour, it’s often the fastest way to understand why your feelings feel so distressing and what they are actually trying to…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

Emotional Reactivity Starts in the Nervous System We’ve all had less than sparkling moments. We snap at our children, lose it in traffic, and yell at our partner. To protect our self-esteem, we blame emotional blow-ups on our mood, or on someone else “because they should have known better.” Afterward, regret and even guilt set in. We think, “What’s wrong with me? I should be able to manage my anger. I’m a bad…(fill in your favourite self-criticism). But here’s the surprising truth: emotional blow-ups may not be just about willpower or “bad moods.” Your body may be hijacking your higher…

There is a moment that happens in almost every romantic relationship. Something small occurs. A delayed text. A strange tone. A comment that lands in a way you did not expect. Suddenly your chest tightens and your thoughts start racing. You tell yourself you should not feel this upset, yet you feel it anyway. The person you care about suddenly feels distant and unfamiliar. Your mind starts filling in the blanks. Maybe they are losing interest. Maybe they are disappointed. Maybe they are going to leave. Maybe they are cheating. Why Trigger Feels So Big Triggers in romantic relationships are…

Loneliness is a universal emotion experienced by individuals in various situations and at different times. Despite being in the company of others, this emotion can persist, causing internal distress. There are moments when this sense of isolation intensifies, leaving us in solitude and affecting various aspects of our lives. To overcome the grip of loneliness, it is essential to understand what can be done and how we can liberate ourselves from its clutches. Many of us have distanced ourselves from our true selves, contributing to the profound sense of isolation. Let's honestly acknowledge our…