Are you feeling stifled in your relationship? Not sure if you are in love anymore? Having an increased frequency of arguments? You might be in the stage of your relationship where you're negotiating your needs with your partner's needs.  Couples Experts Ellyn Bader and her partner Peter saw over 50, 000 couples in the United States and created the Developmental Model of Couple Relationships: A Positive Outlook on How Relationships Develop.

It might seem like a stretch to think that experiences with your caregiver that happened as early as day one...or even hour one...of life, would influence how you might experience relationships as an adult. Those non-verbal cues like eye contact, your caregiver's tone, their presence (consistent or otherwise), whether they held you, hugged you, and so many other interactions all affected future relationship. That's not intended to sound ominous but more, to help you possibly understand how some of the strengths or maybe vulnerabilities within your relationships now, might be influenced.

The human mind has evolved to solve complex problems and navigate the environment with unmatched dexterity. This potent tool has empowered humans to innovate, build civilizations, and achieve feats that are unparalleled in the animal kingdom. However, this same capacity for thought and reflection can become a source of distress. The mind's ability to ponder the past and imagine the future can lead to anxiety, regret, and countless forms of mental suffering.

I am going to say something somewhat controversial. We have very few needs in our relationships.  I might go as far as saying that we don’t need anything from our partner.   We need air to breathe and food to eat. This is the level of need. It is associated with our survival. Language is powerful. This is why when we use the word need to express what we want in relationships it has the energy of ‘must-have urgency’ behind it.  It is a demand.