Marriage and/or Relationship Issues, Sexuality Shame Counselling & Therapy

Marriage and/or Relationship Issues, Sexuality

Entering into a relationship means merging your life with another person, understanding his or her flaws, quirks and beliefs. With marriage rates declining and divorce statistics set at 50%, it is clear that people are increasingly challenged by marriage and relationship issues, and many lack effective ways to address them. So how can we bridge the gap to understanding our partners better and enjoying romantic bliss?

Many factors affect the interpersonal relationship between two partners who are a couple and sometimes it's hard to see the cause of conflict or friction in a relationship. While some people find divorce to be the best or only option, other people speak to counsellors and psychologists  in a bid to try salvage the relationship.

Signs that indicate a need for couples counselling include poor communication in a relationship, affairs, living past one another, inability to resolve marriage of couples' issues, and acting out negative feelings. When divorce seems like the only option, or if a couple is staying together for the kids' sake, that's a sure sign that therapy is needed.

Therapists do not necessarily  believe that all marriages can be salvaged, but counselling can often help even some of the most challenged relationships.  Through talk therapy, the couple will discover again why they fell in love and what they can do to get back to that place in their marriage. They use a range of effective, proven methods to help couples in any situation to restore intimacy and move past the hurt and wounds to a safe and comfortable place.

The concrete tools used by marriage therapists provide guidance in a supportive and encouraging setting and empower clients to restructure their thoughts and emotions. It helps the couple to work with each other, instead of on one another, helping each individual to find the person he or she is at the core level and to build a happy union.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who works with  couples you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Sexuality is an important part of society and relationships in particular. Issues with sexuality are usually an indication of more serious relationship problems. Sex should be a natural and healthy part of a committed relationship, but problems can crop up at any time.

One partner might use the frequency of sex as an indication of their value in the relationship and a measurement as to how much he or she is loved, while the other person values intimacy. Unsatisfactory sex might reveal the partners' deeper levels of control, love and trust, and highlight issues that need further exploration.

Many issues can cause unnecessary stress in a relationship, such as negative childhood attitudes to sexuality. Cultural pressures can also place undue demands on a couple. Traumatic sexual experiences can also emerge at any time.

A therapist can help a couple deal with sexuality issues, helping them to make their own rules regarding sex. They can explore issues with sexuality, such as cultural taboos and family myths,  in a safe environment that is free from judgment.

Relationship counselling can help sexuality issues by helping the couple explore physical communication and allowing both partners to understand the meaning of sex within the bounds of the relationships. Power and control are two of the biggest issues with sexuality in a relationship, while sexual withdrawal is a way for one partner to express disappointment and anger, which are forbidden outside the bedroom.

These are just some of the myriad sexuality related issues that may cause problems in relationships, with which therapists could assist. Sexual dysfunction can be assisted through psychosexual therapy.

If you are looking for a counsellor or psychologist who offers sexual counselling and other sexuality issues you may want to search the directory to find a professional whose approach will suit you best.

Shame Counselling & Therapy

There are a variety of approaches to address the issue of shame.  One of them is the Shame Resilience method is based on the research of Brené Brown, Ph.D. LMSW. 

Shame Resilience is the developed ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it.

Shame Resilience is about moving from shame to empathy- the real antidote to shame. Self-compassion is also critically important, because when we’re able to be tender with ourselves in the midst of shame we’re more likely to reach out, connect and experience empathy.

Other approaches, like Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems (CIMBS)  uses what is called a systems perspective that can address how an individual has learned to respond due to early trauma and or other developmental experiences.

Approaches to shame are not limited to the above.  There are many other therapies that address feeling.

If you do contact a therapist regarding shame issues please make sure that you ask them about their training in this area and choose a therapist whose approach makes sense to you.

 

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Olivia Kienzel

M.Couns., RCC
Olivia has more than a decade of experience as a counsellor working with clients to transform their relationship to themselves, their lives, and the people they care about. She can help you, gently, get to the root... Read more

Morgan MacCarl

M.Couns., RCC
I work with adults and couples who are struggling with grief, trauma, relationship challenges, ADHD symptoms, life transitions, and those who are generally feeling overwhelmed with life. I often meet with people who are... Read more

Grant McMahon

M.C., RCC
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC # 11135) and psychotherapist working in Vancouver.  I can help you if you are struggling with low mood, depression, anxiety/panic, or problems in your marriage or intimate... Read more

Danielle Peloquin

M.A., RCC
    • Blog on profile
    • Online booking
Are things out of balance? Tired of the same old patterns? Stuck? Taking care of mental wellness is like maintaining a vehicle. Anxiety, depression, relationship trouble and anger may mean it's time for a tune-up.... Read more